Kablam

Hello Bloggers,

It turns out I am starting my own writing club in Marion and you're all cordially invited. This writing group will feature discussions and workshops, and possibly some retreats. It will also be open to all ages. Are you in high school? Then you're eligible. Are you in college? Then you're eligible. Are you a senior? Then you're eligible. Are you a hobo or convicted felon? Why, even you're eligible! So, whether you write short stories, poetry, plays, songs or any other brands of writing come and join the fun at KABLAM- Kreativ Artists Blending Language and Magic!

The meeting times and locations will be entirely up to members, so shoot off some ideas.

Fiction Writing 1

I had to drop Fiction Writing 1 but I had written something in class before I did.  If anyone from class wants to tell me of more projects, I'll do them too.

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A hand is reaching toward me.  Each time they drink my blood.  All it takes is a twist off the top.  Who would think it’d be so easy and convenient?

My blood may be carbonated, dark brown and delicious but maybe yours is too.  Mosquitoes, bears and tigers probably feel as if they’re simply enjoying a Coke as they feed upon your fluids, and sometimes, bone.

TWIST

I feel a drain coming on.  There’s light headedness about me, or light bottle-capedness perhaps depending how you view things.  It’s like that feeling you get when you’re low on blood sugar or in my case syrup.

GULP

I can’t move.  Not that I could before but my bubbles danced about on their reflective plastic stage.  I was more alive with carbonation than most could say without.

SLURP

The end of all things.  It’s time to be recycled toward another life.  Or rejoin nature in the landfill.

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The Magic Salesman [Re-edit]

I sell magic by the bushel. Yes, I do, like my father and his father and all the other fathers in the pantheon of fatherhood. Gnomes know it well.

We help those in need and those with desire. Have you ever seen a beggar wake to be a prince? Why, that’s me at work! And I’m spectacular. Perhaps too spectacular.

I shiver to think I’ve done the world a disservice but between you and me, there was this case, a trifle if you will.

It was just after the thaw if memory serves me right. Winter had ebbed and with it came the first blossoms of a new spring, and as always the foibles of young love.

She came running up to me in tears to say he never noticed her and if I would be so kind to sell a bushel she could set things right. But I was very frank with her.

“There is might and wealth in magic, but no love,” I said.

“Oh, but I’m sure it could play the slightest role to even the odds against the other girls that strive to call on him,” she replied.

“Lady, I assure you there is not power I possess to conquer hearts.”

She bowed to my height then took her leave. I continued selling ware throughout the day to poor and sickly types, sometimes not charging at all and always what they could afford to pay. Charity had always been integral to the identity of gnomes. Our hats indeed were most always sewn by the grateful.

But, I could only stay so long before I needed rest. The sun and human misery had weighed heavily upon me.

Therefore, I retired near a tree along the beaten path. A shady breeze swept my sweaty form to cool me off. It was therapeutic and astonishingly cathartic. The gnomish afterlife, I thought, so full of belts and pointed shoes, must hold such virtue. I picked an apple off a low-hanging branch to quench my thirst.

As I bit into the crunchy sweetness of its texture my eyes began to droop. The shade and fruit had numbed my woes considerably.

I dreamt a bird was pecking me and squawking. As often as I batted it off, it returned to nip my nose or pull out hairs. But, it turned out as I woke to be the lady, who earlier sought love poking my chest with her comparatively large finger.

“Mr. Gnome,” she began, “I beg of you to give me magic so that I may travel to another town. I can’t be happy here, to see my love cavorting with another.”

Looking at her swollen eyes I pitied her. Reaching for my tote I removed a bluish orb and sold it in exchange for gold. It may not have been the best solution to her problem but I needed rest.

She ran off before I could offer anymore advice. I would have told her, despite my tiredness: use your brain, and never just your heart or ego. Or, even better, use all three! But even then I doubt she’d listen.

I sighed exhausted. I had been old much too long to understand such matters.

Sleep took hold once more, but nightmares continued plaguing me. I dreamt another dream in which I sought a lovely gnome in youth. I spent days baking her the perfect acorn pie. And, as I presented it on silver, she did the unimaginable. She spat it on the ground, and then she spat on me. Without so much as a thank you she continued on her way, arm in arm with another gnome; his hat reached so much higher than mine…

I woke to flailing limbs. It seems I had begun to run toward the one I used to love, in an effort to liberate her from the travesty that called his self a gnome. For awhile I laid contemplating the meaning of such specters before noticing my tote, once holding an abundance of orbs was emptied completely. Someone had stolen it!

Oh, the tribulations this sleepy town will witness, I thought. I had wallowed in my own reveries much too long. With one orb and illness may be cured and as much as a scar placed upon an enemy. Yet, with the six now missing, homes would certainly burn while murder reigned!

I rushed down the path into the hamlet immediately. Carriages barely missed me several times as I ducked underneath their wheels. I deserved to be hit!

I was careless. Time spent playing it safe meant lives at risk. And as I walked onto the pavement of the town, such haste was confirmed necessary. Buildings burned as people screamed. Cries seemed endless every turn.

I went into the nearest house with a sense of urgency to set things right. A mother and father, I noticed, looked mournfully upon what must have been their daughter. She was still, without breath but bore no marks of trauma.

“What has happened?” I asked fearfully.

“YOU!” the mother screamed. “You brought this wickedness! Our beautiful daughter is dead!”

I gaped in horror for a minute before checking other dwellings. Mothers and fathers from all of them attempted to maim me in some way. I can’t say as I blamed them. Some blows I took in penance, others from slow reflexes. If enough pain could change reality I would have taken all that they could give. But, I had to move on toward the source of all this misery before attempting such rashness. Absolving my sins would be selfish with a killer on the loose.

So many daughters worthy of a tiara were silenced in a bitter rage. And the best that I could do was search seemingly in vain.

The lady from the night before had only bought from me to see where I kept the orbs, I realized. And I had let her trick me. I was a disgrace. My father had warned me against such things, as had my grandfather and his grandfather before him.

I continued looking for that woman responsible but could not find her in the alleys, backrooms, nooks or crannies. Only when I made the long walk back to my tree, off the beaten path, did I perceive her worried form.

She held the six emptied orbs in her arms while tears ran down her cheeks. I still pitied her.

“Oh, Mr. Gnome, I never meant to hurt so many. I just saw him with her and used the magic in revenge against her. But I lost control and they all kept dying; even those I knew as friends. Then, the houses started burning…”

“Child, I do forgive you but I can’t undo these awful deeds. You will have to keep the burden as will I.”

“What if you turned back the clock?”

“You’ve destroyed a town with love and now you seek to kill the world with time? These forces, my dear, are untamable and always will be.”

“But you use them Mr. Gnome!”

“I merely coax and nothing more.”

A pause set in. I heard her sniffling. The ground seemed wet around me.

“Let me come with you,” she asked.

I’m not sure why I told her yes, especially so quickly; perhaps because we were labeled the same now; perhaps because we were the only two to understand each other’s guilt. But, I maintain these events will be trifles to the good we’ll do repaying Gob.

Some People

Some people won’t believe in you
Others will not even notice you
And there’s times despite your efforts
You’ll be one of those who overlooks
The sterling aspects of an individual.

You may question why you never saw
Or took the time to greet, or even smile
At these people, so unknowingly gifted
In their intellect and art.

You may ask what they have
I don’t possess –
Surely art is energy
Surrounding each and every one of us!

But, no, there is a divinity
That sparks from timber
Laid and often tromped upon
From years of put-downs and rejection.

We blossom despite
The soil we are planted in;
We blossom despite
The persistence of drought.
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The Walls, The Walls are Gonna Fall

"A federal judge ruled Friday that a decorated flight nurse discharged from the Air Force for being gay should be given her job back as soon as possible in the latest legal setback to the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy."

"The decision by U.S. District Judge Ronald Leighton came in a closely watched case as a tense debate has been playing out over the policy. Senate Republicans blocked an effort to lift the ban this week, but two federal judges have ruled against the policy in recent weeks." - Gene Johnson, MSNBC

Somehow, in this polarized world, with individual freedom being touted we miss the mark on what it truly means.  Freedom from taxes, and a health care law are labeled more important largely than a genuine case so emblematic of the misuse of federal power.  The army is indeed an extension of the federal government as much as many would deny.  And this force is not above the law of democracy.  If anything it should reflect the values of the nation; freedom of expression, speech and choice.

Congress cannot require this to happen.  They are too muddled in bickering.  Therefore, the courts, where real people go to voice real grievances must take up the challenge.  This is ultimately authority that conservatives should agree on; they want it local and it is.
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Neil Young's Heart of Gold

Ponce de León set sail with Neil Young

Looking for a heart of gold.

León’s compass led the way,

Neil’s music tamed the seas.

Neither saw the shore ahead

But were confident in dreams.

Years passed, age betook them

But they grew young again once more

The fountain of youth was but

A side stop on their journey

Sirens, serpents guarding ways

Were no match for them

For, Young, with his voice

Was part siren himself

And León had much more

Tenacity than any serpent.

Egos, however, proved to be

The greatest obstacle.

Neil believed guitar would find the heart of gold

Where León saw only navigation.

Thus they split and took up different ships

But where they went we’ll never know.

Some say both grew old with dignity

And found that to be the heart of gold.

Others say the ocean waves

Are strums from Neil’s guitar.

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Butterflies

Butterflies enjoying defecation;
Copious, bright wings flapping fecal matter
Onto patterns that consist of yellow,
Orange and gold – morphed into a dirty brown.

Aposematism without evolution –
Finding mimicry in what’s around them;
Eyespots rendered different and distinct
As if by some ironic accident.

Strawberry odors masked in acrid musk;
A rosebush pokes hard with its prickly thorns;
Their only friends remain the dandelions
For white tops may always join the wind.

The butterflies view clean, green caterpillars
Chewing holes through apples and consider how
Spring days in the cocoon have disappeared
Leaving metamorphosis a reverie.
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Rejection

I was rejected in the mail today;
Disappointment etched upon a paper face.

As I read over the informal font
The apostrophes were rolling eyes.

Spaces separating letters grew
Distinct and wide like yawns.

There were no notes
But blankness spoke.

Crumpled edges of the envelope
Seemed to me assaulted dreams.

The clip they left, keeping all together
Is my parting gift.
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Who Wants to be a Net Negative Billionaire?

Regis: Mr. McConnell, for the middle class not having to pay billions in more taxes, what is the definition of compromise?

McConnell: Obstruct and be a total asshole?

Regis: Is that your final answer?

McConnell: Yes.

Regis: America's fucked! We're fucked! Get off the stage and into a bunker!

McConnell: Why is it us Kentucky men always manage to destroy the country somehow?
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Reality Check

My reality check bounced

Because I broke the bank

With platitudes and pity.

The next day I asked the teller

If she’d give me a withdrawal

And I felt the irony.

I can’t wait to read the statement

Telling me my life’s imbalanced

Or even off completely.

Perhaps I’ll try refinancing –

Get my heart a slower rate

Before my body is foreclosed.

The soul’s already in

Chapter 11 with no job or car

Paying alimony to three wives.

I wish I could tell you

Where my head has gone –

Most likely repossessed.

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Prospective Human

The location is heaven; a prospective soul is researching which existence to choose on earth.

TREE

Prospective soul: Hello, I understand you just got through with being a tree.

Tree: I did, indeed.  It was picturesque, serene. The wind swept through my leaves and I was beautiful.

Prospective soul: Were there any downsides?

Tree: You know, there weren’t, until the humans cut me down.

Prospective soul: They did what?

Tree: They chopped me the fuck down, can you believe it? There I was photosynthesizing and WHAM, I was lumberjacked.

Prospective soul: These humans sound dreadful. I certainly would not want to choose that existence.

Tree: Few do. You know, I heard Hitler was an all right tree, before he became human.

Prospective soul: A tree’s artwork is harder to reject.

Tree: Yes, everyone appreciates the foliage of summer and fall.

Prospective soul: Will you be a tree again?

Tree: Sadly, no. I would appreciate it less if I was not something else for awhile.

Prospective soul: So, what will you be?

Tree: Perhaps some type of Fungi, I haven’t looked through the brochure.

Prospective soul: This has been illuminating but I must move on to exploring other possibilities.  Thanks for your time.

Tree: May your blossoms be numerous.

ELEPHANT:

Prospective soul: Hello, I understand you just got through with being an elephant.

Elephant: I don’t know you well enough to get into that.

Prospective soul: Please, sir, I’m doing research for my next existence.

Elephant: Then be an elephant and see for yourself.

Prospective soul: So you do recommend it?

Elephant: If you’ll shut up for a minute.

A minute passes

Prospective soul: Well?

Elephant: Well, what?

Prospective soul: You said after a minute you’d recommend it.

Elephant: I said no such thing.

Prospective soul: You did!

Elephant: An elephant never forgets.

Prospective soul: Ah ha! You just admitted to being an elephant again.

Elephant: Very well; I’ll tell you it was good for awhile.  I ran with the herd, bathed in the water. But, eventually, some humans shot me for my ivory.

Prospective soul: How awful.

Elephant: You don’t know the meaning of the word.

Prospective soul: I was a camel for a bit; the desert was pretty unforgiving and my hump got sore.

Elephant: Well, at least you lived a full life.

Prospective soul: I can’t say that; my human cut me open to sleep inside when it got cold one night.

Elephant: Where’s PETA when you need ‘em, eh?

Prospective soul: Would you be an elephant again?

Elephant: Perhaps in a time before people, or when they were merely scavengers and gatherers.

Prospective soul: This has been illuminating but I must move on to exploring other possibilities.

Elephant: Who’s stoppin’ ya?

Prospective soul: Thanks for your time.

DODO BIRD

Prospective soul: Hello, I understand you just got through with being a Dodo bird.

Dodo: Ahhhhhhhh! The horror! The absolute horror!

Prospective soul: Would you reco-

Dodo: AHHH!

Prospective soul: Please, Mr. Dodo, I just wanted to ask-

Dodo: PAIN! AGONY!

Prospective soul: Would you consider being a Dodo ag-

Dodo: NO! I’M BEING A SHARK TO EAT HUMANS!

Prospective soul: Well, I heard extinction was your own fault for being so fat and clumsy.

Dodo puts on glasses and starts speaking eloquently

Dodo: Actually, it is quite the contrary. We fattened our self on ripe fruits at the end of the wet season to live through the dry season when food got scarce. When humans first arrived on Mauritius, they brought with them animals that had not existed on the island before, including dogs, pigs, cats, rats, and Crab-eating Macaques, which plundered the dodo nests, while humans destroyed the forests where us birds made our homes.

Prospective soul: This has been illuminating but I must move on to exploring other possibilities. Thanks for your time.

Dodo: If you see a human by the way

Dodo takes off glasses

Dodo: KILL THEM!

Prospective soul: Will do.

ANT

Prospective soul: Hello, I understand you just got through with being an ant.

Ant: Oh, yes. I lived for the queen. She was demure and stately, always laying eggs to further the farm.

Prospective soul: Were there any downsides?

Ant: None that I can recall. Every day I woke up, I felt I was part of something bigger than myself. I guarded our hill some days and others I went out looking for food.

Prospective soul: It sounds like dangerous work.

Ant: Some may think that. But, before the advent of dangerous pesticides eliminating us in vast quantities, things weren’t so bad.  I just came back from such a period.

Prospective soul: So, no major problems with humans?

Ant: Oh, no, they think they’re in charge but there’s far more of us.

Prospective soul: Would you be an ant again?

Ant: Of course; that’s the beauty of being an ant. Every time you come back as an ant you come back in a different occupation. I might try being a worker.

Prospective soul: This has been illuminating but I must move on to exploring other possibilities. Thanks for your time.

Ant: God save the Queen!

VIRUS

Prospective soul: I understand you just got through with being a virus.

Virus: That is true; I would have invaded your immune system by now if I still were.

Prospective soul: So, you were HIV?

Virus: Hey, don’t give me guff on that. Humans have done plenty to other creatures. You might say I’m helping the world in what I did.

Prospective soul: I don’t know, you killed a lot of innocent children.

Virus: You think I don’t lose sleep over that?

Prospective soul: Why not just attack those who deserve it?

Virus: I had no control over that. I read in the brochure I may help decrease humans’ numbers for their own good. But, life throws a lot of curves your way.  I did what I had to survive because I was alive; I didn’t know anything of anything else at the time.

Prospective soul: Would you recommend being a virus?

Virus: Of course not. It was a mistake and I regret every minute of it. Humans are bad but they still didn’t deserve something as bad as me.

Prospective soul: So you wouldn’t be one again?

Virus: No, naturally.

Prospective soul: This has been illuminating but I must move on to exploring other possibilities. Thanks for your time.

Virus: Why don’t you go patronize Bubonic for a while!?

DOG

Prospective soul: Hello, I understand you just got through being man’s best friend.

Dog: Did you say man? What kind of man? Does he have a Frisbee? I’ll totally catch that Frisbee, don’t say I won’t.

Prospective soul: Did you enjoy being a dog?

Dog: Of course I enjoyed being a dog. I loved the park. There were other dogs to sniff. Have you ever sniffed a dog?  It’s great; I could sniff another dog all day.

Prospective soul: So, you’d recommend it?

Dog: It depends on your persona. Some souls aren’t right to be a dog, too serious, too ambitious. I’m just right though. I chased cars, I did it all. Up until they put me down.

Prospective soul: Why did they do that?

Dog: I got excited and I bit a kid. It was an accident really. Didn’t know my own strength.

Prospective soul: You seem friendly enough.

Dog: Well, you can’t hurt anyone here. I might be an antelope in my next life. Or anything that’s not dangerous.

Prospective soul: This has been illuminating but I must move on to exploring other possibilities. Thanks for your time.

Dog: Throw me that tennis ball over there before you go!

HUMAN

Prospective soul: Hello, I have heard much about your prior existence.

Human: Go ahead, take your shot.

Prospective soul: Fair enough; why were you so cruel to trees and dogs and dodo birds?

Human: I guess after the last life, as a tank fish, I wanted to be powerful.

Prospective soul: That doesn’t explain your cruelty.

Human: There is no explaining it. I was devoid of any connection with nature as I was when a beta fish.

Prospective soul: So, you wouldn’t recommend the existence?

Human: Only, for perspective, if you’ve tried everything else.

Prospective soul: The dodo bird told me to murder you.

Human: Well, don’t let me stop you.

Prospective soul cuts off the spirits head

Prospective soul: That was cathartic.

Human’s head: Can you put me back on my body now?

Prospective soul: Of course.

Prospective soul reassembles the human

Human: Thank you. So, have you decided what to be?

Prospective soul: I’m thinking a cactus, to be honest. I’d be stunning with my flowers and far away from humans… no offense.

Human: None taken.

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