Saturday, February 25, 2012

Dreams about You

I was sleeping when
You came to me
In white so like
The Toothfairy
I long knew was
Imaginary but second
Guessed the realization
As you reached for teeth
With lips, the slightest bit
Of tongue, saliva and a moan.

Take me off to fairy land,
I pleaded as she bagged my teeth,
Got on her cloud and waved goodbye
In crimson fairy dust or airborne blood
From my dissection.

A quarter doesn’t mean the same
As I’m a prostitute who gave myself
Away in sex and teeth for slim rewards
But all the guilt and fear
Found on the streets.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

A Drive Through Fog

Things were simpler
When I knew you
Felt you there
Before the frost
Our fog set in
And I drove blind
Not caring
For the light
Ahead of me
Or sound of horns
That clashed with broken glass,
A twisted frame
And airborne boy
Too impetuous to be a man;
Say fuck the past and
Fuck you too.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Winter Tailor

She stitched the snow
each flake by flake
into a quilt the flowers
cowered under.

Ice jackets for the trees
were made -
a formal dance
as sunlight glistened.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

A Public Service Message Regarding "Mean People"

They doubted us.  They put us down.  Now, we finally have the last laugh.  Most of you already know the story.  The Kindness Acts of 2014 were enacted finally putting an end to America’s most insufferable nuisance.  I speak of course of mean people; always hating, thinking of themselves.  They came in all forms; our neighbors, women, men, Black, White and Hispanic. They shared however a common sickness and aversion to the interests of others.

At first prisons would not hold the vast numbers of undesirables collected from their homes and beaten for good measure.  This was quickly fixed.  Mean people together merely grew into mean mobs the rest of us could not trust.  The only humane thing to do, the Supreme Council decided, was execution.  I know what you’re thinking.  We became the very evil we fought.  It is far more complicated than that, however.  We’re very nice to talk with and would not dream of hurting a fellow nicey.

Mean people are simply not human.  You may think they are from appearance.  Biologically, much is similar.  Yet, nicey scientists have discovered a mean gene.  This mean gene switches on sometime around puberty completely destroying all spiritual value in a given individual.

Your children might already be infected.  Do not grow close to them.  For the benefit of all niceys they must be eradicated.  If it helps, think of your child or other loved ones as a plague upon humanity.  Their meanness will be the death of all good people.  It only takes one before the poison spreads.

What specific behaviors should you look for?  If a child or adult laughs at another’s misfortune or appears uppity a serious alarm should ring in your mind.  If a woman rejects your advances she has most obviously succumb to sickness.  It is your duty to report all such and any behavior to the Supreme Council.  Do not be timid.  Your courage is the difference between a perfect and imperfect world.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Three Drawings on Paint

Guy I drew while trying out the new paint for Windows 7.

 Supposed to be a penguin.

Sort of like Madame Hooch if she actually used magic in the books. Also the magic is more inspired by Ganon from Legend of Zelda.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


He gouges
out his eyes
to reach his soul
but finds his mind.

He tears and shreds
away the grey
leaving just an empty skull
but still no soul.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Scribblings on a Post-It Note

I'm a dreamer but I'm
Not a money maker.

I'm a lover never
Feeling loved enough.

I'm solar powered
In the darkest climate.

I'm your friend
But are you mine?

Saturday, February 11, 2012

National Treasure III: Book of Freemason Incan Treasure And Something Filmed in New Orleans

Nice Old Spice recently got a look inside the third installment of National Treasure. As can be expected, Ben Gates justifies a reprehensible act with a historically driven monologue. Let's take a look!

"Of all the ideas that became the United States, there's a line here that's at the heart of all the others. 'But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security.' I've got to rape the Secretary of Defense before Zombie Lincoln does."

Friday, February 10, 2012

An Old Spice Endorsement

The gnomes atop the page at Nice Old Spice are restless. They tell me I MUST read Chris's post at Wander without being lost. I agree of course. Because, hey, he's a great writer and I love his stuff. An endorsement from the gnomes up top goes a long way too. As a gnome aficionado I was rather awestruck. Here's a sample, he's graciously agreed to let me use:

And the dross
Makes snow for the little
Summer gnomes scampering
Around your feet.

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

A Llama Haiku

Velvet llamas made
Me a filthy millionaire
And they're tasty too.

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Bleed Slow My Angel

your wrists are
candy wrappers
tied with tissue paper.

bleed slow,
my angel.
bleed out,
be free.

sandbox grains
make castles from
such little particles
and you will too.

bleed slow,
my angel.
bleed out,
be free.

clouds have shapes
like puddles on the ground
that you'll soon splash in.

bleed slow,
my angel.
bleed out,
be free.

Monday, February 06, 2012

My Ocarina and Me

How many of you have played the video game Zelda? Then you know what an ocarina is? Good, I need not explain. Oh, I mistook the stony silence for nonverbal agreement. My bad. An ocarina is an ancient flute-like wind instrument. It played an important role in the history of dance. So you better be thanking it. And me seeing as how I've taken this historic instrument into my tutelage. Been going strong for a few weeks now and might even post some songs!

Ain't I cute?

Thursday, February 02, 2012


I was recently published in a monthly 'zine run by my college called KAPOW! Named respectively for the writing group on campus.