Wednesday, July 17, 2013

A Response to Carlos Vigil

"An openly gay New Mexico high school student who spoke out against bullying died Tuesday after his family removed him from life support following a suicide attempt over the weekend. Carlos Vigil Carlos Vigil, 17, posted a suicide note online on Saturday where he described being the target of bullying, and wrote, 'The kids in school are right, I am a loser, a freak and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with.' His father rushed home when he heard about it, but it was too late." - LGBTQ Nation

I’m sorry to those who I offended over the years.

You spoke for those who couldn’t speak.

I’m blind to see that I, as a human being, suck.

You’ve never sucked.

I’m an individual who is doing an injustice to the world and it’s time for me to leave.

Please stay.

Please don’t ever feel sorry for me, or cry – because I had an opportunity at life and that opportunity is over.

It isn’t over; you have so much more to give.

I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to love someone or have someone love me.

We love you.

I guess it’s best though, because now I leave no pain onto anyone.

Believe us, there is pain.

The kids in school are right, I am a loser, a freak, and a fag and in no way is that acceptable for people to deal with.

You are special, you are not a freak, and one day, they will see how beautiful it is.

I’m sorry for not being a person that would make someone proud.

You’ve made so many proud.

I’m free now. Xoxo.

We wish that we could be.



  1. dang man...
    we are all human, though how often we act like it
    that is a question...ripped me the heart

    1. I wish we acted human, Brian, or even, more than than it at times.

  2. Ben this really made me emotional...what a powerful powerful piece. Sir, you really wrote one for the ages here. I hope and pray that someday we never have to worry about these things again...

    1. Me too, Keith. His letter hit me so hard I had to respond.

  3. How very hard on his family. It's interesting he didn't think he was at least leaving his parents with pain.

    1. Definitely, Heather, but I don't think anyone who's reached that state is thinking clearly.

  4. So so sad...I just wish he could have known how wonderful he was. I attempted suicide when I was young. Thank God Charlie was there for me. Beautiful tribute to him Ben

    1. I'm so very glad and grateful he was, Susie. You're a wonderful person.


You've found your way inside my head and now there's no way out!