The Old Man and the Alien
An old man seeking companionship and an alien learning what it is to be human.
This is their story.
Old Man: It isn't just about conquering this planet and that planet. There's a lot more to existence than blasting down lifeforms with your ray gun.
Alien: Like what?
Old Man: Like sunsets, love and all that junk.
Alien: I have a collection of sunsets.
Old Man: In your memory?
Alien: No, I stole them. [Silence.] What's love though?
Old Man: Love's a lot of things to a lot of people.
Alien: I have complications processing your vague platitudes.
Old Man: All right, all right. Don't have to go thinking you're smarter than me.
Alien: But I am. My IQ exceeds your own by far more than the distance I've traveled.
Old Man: Then why are you here?
Old Man: Knowledge clearly isn't everything?
Alien: Yes. And I'm terrible empty as vast as it may be.
Old Man: That's right. So shut up and listen for a change. Love can't be quantified; it can't be learned, absorbed or rationalized by any of the little doodads on your spaceship.
Alien: They're called gravitational distortion regulators.
Old Man: Whatever. The point is humans have a connection to one another beyond logic.
Alien: Is that why there's war?
Old Man: Hell no, there's war because one person wants some shit another has. We'll cover that next time. Love is between a man and a woman, or if you're my grandson a man and a man.
Alien: It's not always for procreation?
Old Man: Have you seen all them ankle biters trolling around out there? You think we need more?
Alien: But would it not be logical to simply expand into another solar system?
Old Man: We don't have the money for that.
Alien: Yes, I find that curious as well. My species worked together for the common good of expanding into space.
Old Man: Yeah and that's why you aren't human.
Alien: I don't understand.
Old Man: I don't expect you to.
Alien: Does it tie into love?
Old Man: No, it ties into war. People don't like to share if they can help it. Which I guess, ties into love too.
Old Man: Well love is pretty selfish. You want one person and they want you. Ideally.
Alien: Wow. I read nothing in the database explaining this.
Old Man: That's your first mistake. Go out and live!
Alien: Are you suggesting I copulate with an earth female?
Old Man: Slow down, tiger. Try polite conversation first.
Alien: Which would be?
Old Man: Damn, I've got so much to learn you, boy...
to be continued...