Thursday, December 29, 2011

A New Series?

The Old Man and the Alien

An old man seeking companionship and an alien learning what it is to be human.  
This is their story.

Old Man: It isn't just about conquering this planet and that planet.  There's a lot more to existence than blasting down lifeforms with your ray gun.

Alien: Like what?

Old Man: Like sunsets, love and all that junk.

Alien: I have a collection of sunsets.

Old Man: In your memory?

Alien: No, I stole them. [Silence.] What's love though?

Old Man: Love's a lot of things to a lot of people.

Alien: I have complications processing your vague platitudes.

Old Man: All right, all right.  Don't have to go thinking you're smarter than me.

Alien: But I am. My IQ exceeds your own by far more than the distance I've traveled.

Old Man: Then why are you here?

Alien: Because...

Old Man: Knowledge clearly isn't everything?

Alien: Yes. And I'm terrible empty as vast as it may be.

Old Man: That's right. So shut up and listen for a change.  Love can't be quantified; it can't be learned, absorbed or rationalized by any of the little doodads on your spaceship.

Alien: They're called gravitational distortion regulators.

Old Man: Whatever. The point is humans have a connection to one another beyond logic.

Alien: Is that why there's war?

Old Man: Hell no, there's war because one person wants some shit another has.  We'll cover that next time. Love is between a man and a woman, or if you're my grandson a man and a man.

Alien: It's not always for procreation?

Old Man: Have you seen all them ankle biters trolling around out there? You think we need more?

Alien: But would it not be logical to simply expand into another solar system?

Old Man: We don't have the money for that.

Alien: Yes, I find that curious as well. My species worked together for the common good of expanding into space.

Old Man: Yeah and that's why you aren't human.

Alien: I don't understand.

Old Man: I don't expect you to.

Alien: Does it tie into love?

Old Man: No, it ties into war. People don't like to share if they can help it.  Which I guess, ties into love too.

Alien: How?

Old Man: Well love is pretty selfish. You want one person and they want you.  Ideally.

Alien: Wow. I read nothing in the database explaining this.

Old Man: That's your first mistake. Go out and live!

Alien: Are you suggesting I copulate with an earth female?

Old Man: Slow down, tiger. Try polite conversation first.

Alien: Which would be?

Old Man: Damn, I've got so much to learn you, boy...

to be continued...


  1. Lol, nice convo of Alien & Old man.
    "Love is between a man and a woman, or if you're my grandson a man and a man." -ROFL XD

  2. Interesting story..can't wait to see where this one goes :)

  3. You have got one cool cranium my friend…this is good!


You've found your way inside my head and now there's no way out!