Wednesday, December 07, 2011

If the World were an Insurance Company...



“Poison control will now transfer you to the drain cleaner department. Please listen to the music while your party is reached.  I’m hooked on a feeling, I’m high on believing!  You used Liquid Plumber, correct?  Transferring you to the Liquid Plumber department.  Please listen to the music while your party is reached. I close my eyes only for a moment and the moment’s gone! Dust in the wind!  Before we give any more advice, we’re transferring you to claims.  Please listen to the music while your party is reached.  Karma karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go, you come and go!  Your claim number is 109998.  Transferring you back to the Liquid Plumber department.  Please listen to the music while your party is reached.  Are you going to Scarborough Fair? Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.  Remember me to one who lives there, she was once a true love of mine.  Sorry, it turns out your claim did not go through.  Are you still there?  The nerve of these dying people, I swear!”

5 comments:

  1. Ben, you've captured today's crazy logic in
    and supposedly efficiency.

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  2. Love your music choices. Perfect!!

    Well, I figure I've paid enough money to State Farm in the past 20 years to have paid for another whole house and several cars. (We've only filed one claim to get a new roof after a hail storm....in all these years.) It's such a scam. It's Louisiana law that we have to carry minimum liability on our 3 vehicles (my truck, car, motorcycle) and replacement value on our home. (Paid $46,000 for the house, BUT must carry $160,000 to replace said home at today's values....) Only now they've refused to pay if the house gets flooded...or if it's damaged in a hurricane...or Acts of God. Which, to my knowlege, means they'll cover only fires...unless it's an act of God fire, then we're just screwed. It makes my head spin and my checkbook hurt. I was recently informed by mail that I would have to pay ADDITIONAL for policies for these things which formerly were covered since time began. It's great incentive to sell your shit and not buy more. I called my agent and said, "What the FUCK do you cover?" I think I'm just giving them over a thousand dollars a year for NOTHING! Yikes!! Okay, hopping off my soap box. Your fault. LOL!

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  3. Shauna: Thanks you. I really liked the poem you posted earlier. It's still swimming through my head ;)

    Marion: Oh, don't hop off. You could start a blog of rants, Marion On Her Soap Box :)

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  4. How sad...lol I havent reached the age where insurance is a problem and would never like to. Is that possible?

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You've found your way inside my head and now there's no way out!