Beginnings of a Sketch That Fizzled Out

BRIAN WILLIAMS

Tonight on NBC Nightly News I interview the man responsible for what some are calling the worst nervous breakdown in recent history.  Lou Cochran, 35 went on an orgy of theft and violence; stealing cars, robbing banks and burning franchises of Orange Julius.  He was apprehended in a high speed chase through four different states, having stopped to refill his gas tank several times.  The police, caught continually unaware as he casually filled his tank and several containers before driving off.  Mr. Cochran, why did they even allow you to test drive a Bugatti Veyron Super Sport?

LOU COCHRAN

I stole your credit card.

BRIAN WILLIAMS

[Checking wallet]

What!?

LOU COCHRAN

Just messing with you Brian.  I said I was George Clooney.

BRIAN WILLIAMS

And they believed you?

LOU COCHRAN

Why wouldn’t they?

BRIAN WILLIAMS

You look nothing like him, for one.

LOU COCHRAN

How about now?

            [Puts on a grayish wig]         

BRIAN WILLIAMS

I must say I’m starting to see the resemblance.

LOU COCHRAN

It’s just that easy.

BRIAN WILLIAMS

It’s rumored you could be spending up to 140 years in prison.

LOU COCHRAN

I wouldn’t worry about it.

BRIAN WILLIAMS

Why not?

LOU COCHRAN

I stole enough to bribe the judge.

BRIAN WILLIAMS

These are serious allegations.  What crisis brought you to this level?