in the river
like we were young
and years between us
had not took their toll
on our demeanors;
unfamiliar pauses
and uncertain glances
becoming our relationship
in spite of history and
bloodshed in the room
we shared together.
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Oh yes. Exactly like that. Nice job Ben Ditty! I wish it were't so hard. Those damn years and what all that weather does to the sheen of our metal.
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, though I think your metal has stayed nicely sheened :)
DeleteI like your poems...I wonder, are they all written from personal experiences? They seem to be. It makes that that much more powerful.
ReplyDeleteThey're written from a mix of emotions and abstract experience. The sense of time is exaggarated but I was feeling my brother and I are at that age where we're taking our own divergent paths in life.
DeleteWe really did throw pine cones in a river we used to go to though. It was kind of an homage, as we at our grandpa's house for what was likely the last time. He's sick and selling it to pay for medical bills.
DeleteBen, I knew from the first swhat you were speaking at...those things can return...
Deleteand my friend your pen has power!
Wander
Funny, I was brought to NEw Hampshire and my brother and me. Standing still. Tossing pine cones with little to say just then. Just then at a point when we realized our lives had taken us miles from one another.
ReplyDeleteYour poems do not always tell me what your experience is, but they hit something so dead on sharply, I simply assume the commonality. Another home run for me.
HOME RUUUN! :)
DeleteLovely poem...Awesome lines..
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteOh this one is so great, Ben! I love it! Great use of slant rhyme in "between us" and "demeanors."
ReplyDeleteNice pick up ;)
DeleteYou had me at 'pine cones'. I love this one, Ben, and the feelings it evokes. (Some of my best friends are Pine trees). Keep up the good work!!! xo
ReplyDeleteTree friendship is beautiful friendship :)
Delete