Sunday, December 04, 2011

Eve v. God

Eve sued God today in federal court for damages cited under the Americans with Disabilities Act.  “I was a diabetic,” she said in a recent press release.  “I couldn’t just turn down an apple with my blood sugar the way it was.”

The defense counters Eve was not an American citizen at the time of the incident and therefore not entitled to the act’s protection.  Her lawyers responded she was the mother of all American citizens.  The defense paused for thought at having heard this and proceeded to scratch their heads at a loss for words.

“Her and Adam’s eviction,” Eve’s lawyer stated, “was unwarranted, unethical and illegal.  Would God have kicked a paraplegic out of Eden for taking a crutch?”

In further developments, the serpent is getting in on the action.  He also claims himself as a victim; of defamation from God.  He recently was quoted saying he had only prescribed Eve necessary medicine for her continued well-being.  “God has blighted my good name and reputation,” he told reporters.

Could this develop into a class-action?  Analysts are saying it might.  Stayed tuned to Channel 3 news for the latest!


  1. Breaking news! Adam has just announced that he is also suing God. Adam has alleged that the man above used illegal and unwarranted search and seizure, and also involved Adam in illegal genetic experiments when god took one of Adams ribs to make Eve. Adam has been quoted saying “she has been a pain in my side from the moment she was made”.

  2. What a spin on Genesis! But we all know Eve was as damn near perfect as any woman was or is health wise. Funny post though my quirky friend.

  3. I don't know Annie, she was a rib, probably high in cholesterol too :p

  4. lol.. funny post as "Wine and Words" said. You are a nice writer, I like coming here :) Happy blogging :D

  5. hahahaha, nice Ben. so long since I've had a dose of your vintage wit. :-)

  6. H!!! So happy you're back! I've missed you too :)


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