Friday, November 25, 2011

My Bad Luck with Fortune Cookies

Fortune cookies come in all shapes and sizes. Okay, so almost always the same size and shape. But the fortunes can be drastically different.  Most people I know will crack one open and leave with an optimistic feeling. Others, like me are not so lucky. For reasons I cannot quite explain my fortunes are most always terribly condescending or just plain insulting.  This leads me to a new segment titled My Bad Luck with Fortune Cookies.

Not all closed eye is sleeping, nor open eye is seeing.

On the surface, perhaps not bad. But think what it's saying about me, the paying customer. I'm apparently not very perceptive to Mr. I-write-cookies-for-a-living.

Cultivation to the mind is as necessary as food to the body.

Well, they could have said bluntly I'm a fat idiot but instead chose the next best thing. I'm eating too much, and in doing so contributing to Mr. Cookie's business. But that isn't good enough. I need to cultivate my mind. I suppose that means cooking my own meals and writing my own fortunes. Tough break, Mr. Cookie.

P.S. the lucky numbers sucked too.


  1. Lol I LOVE fortune cookies!! Ahahah ironically enough, its so hard to find them in Asia xDD I think your worst fortune was getting one that had bad grammar

  2. Hmm I wonder why they aren't popular in Asia. Are there fortune Big Macs instead with American wisdom?

  3. Your bad fortunes did make me laugh, though.

  4. Thanks Jack. I guess a real man makes his own fortune.

  5. Those are hilarious!! And your commentary is priceless. I never get ones so imaginative, just stuff like, "You will be surrounded by friends and family."

  6. Oh my, I soo want those. Some people aren't big on platitudes but they make me smile :)

  7. I like this Ben. will this be a regular thing?


You've found your way inside my head and now there's no way out!