Congressman Paul Ryan suffered a major medical emergency this Saturday. During a speech on the merits of effectively abolishing Medicare he tripped off his podium. A doctor rushed to the stage to find his own foot jammed down the congressman's throat. Naturally the Doctor wanted to remove it. But Ryan insisted on not taking advantage of subsidized healthcare. And he was far too cheap to pay from his own pocket. Thus the foot remains. Ryan continued speaking in a muffled voice over the great innovations states might make as they were forced to take on a greater burden of debt by providing health care costs without a federal government."Seniors" he said "will have more choice: their house, food, medications or... hip surgery."