Wednesday, November 03, 2010

2010 Electionisms

And now a look into exit poll commentary...

"I had to hitchhike to the polls because I have no car."

"I've sold four of my kidneys and I just had the two."

"My wife took everything in the divorce... she's $50,000 in debt."

"I put panhandling on my resume."

"My kid loves camping. Now everyday's his favorite."

"I use my priest for therapy."

"Sometimes at night I stare at the TV and try to remember what electricity was like."

"Have you ever cleaned yourself with stolen soap in a Wal-Mart toilet?"

"Olive Garden was voted best dumpster by Zagat."

"I tried filtering my urine like Kevin Costner did to save on water. Long story short, Brita let me down."

No comments:

Post a Comment

You've found your way inside my head and now there's no way out!