Gnome Company
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Gnome Company Always on the run
Destiny is the garden's rising sun
Oh Hafrank was born with a flower in his hand
Behind a root he'll make my final stand
That's why they call it gnome company
And you can't deny
Gnome company
Till the day we die
Till the day we die
Krista: Hafrank, step on it!
Hafrank: My legs aren’t long enough to drive!
Krista: Nick, step on the peddles for him!
Nick: Wouldn’t this be easier if I just dr-
Krista: NOW!
Nick: Why are we in Washington D.C. anyway?
Krista: I want to crash the White House State dinner.
Nick: Why?
Krista: The Salahi’s almost did it again, but their limo got stopped. The point is it’s dangerously easy to meet the president and we must take advantage of the situation.
Hafrank: Will you tell him to install carrots in all public buildings? Gnomes like to climb carrots.
Krista: No, I’m going to ask him for money, of course.
Nick: We wouldn’t be in the red if you hadn’t insisted on an impromptu vacation.
Krista: Either way, it’s our only hope.
Nick: What if we just send him an email?
Krista: Nick, what did I tell you about practical thinking?
Nick: Keep it to myself.
Krista: That’s right.
Hafrank: I can’t see over the steering wheel either.
Krista: What about the mushroom I got you to sit on?
Hafrank: It’s become a suppository.
Krista: And later it will be fertilizer, a win, win.
Announcer: Ewe, Hafrank. Just dirty. Plain dirty. We’ll be right back.
Hafrank: Hello, again. I bought this blog time because I knew the announcer would have pithy remark about my latest antic. Little does he know I poisoned his microphone! Ha ha ha!
Announcer: Death… it hurts! Looks like I’m going to announcer heaven, where everything’s dramatic and coming this summer.
Krista: Hafrank, that wasn’t very nice. Now we don’t get a commercial break.
Hafrank: Of course we do, I hired a narrator.
Narrator: Yo.
Krista: Hi there sweet voice.
Narrator: Mrs. Krista, I think you’re trying to seduce me.
Dustin Hoffman: Stay outta my lines bitch!
Hafrank: Hey, you still have Midnight Cowboy.
Dustin Hoffman: That’s true.
Dustin Hoffman limps away
Nick: Hafrank, you haven’t been paying attention to the road! Stop with the whimsical banter already!
Hafrank: It doesn’t matter; it’s not like I can see.
Krista: I’ve been looking for you.
Hafrank: Does it really make sense that Nick’s working the pedals, I’m steering and you’re watching the road?
Krista: Of course, families do things together.
Hafrank: How many people have I hit?
Krista: Well, like I said, families do things together, and a lot of them are dying together.
Hafrank: Looks like I’ll be going to gnome hell.
Krista: What happens there?
Hafrank: The garden doesn’t grow… EVER!
Krista: That does sound harsh. Do you have purgatory?
Hafrank: Pergo-what? I don’t think Hell has wood flooring. It’d burn up in the fire.
Krista: No, purgatory, the place you go where you’re in limbo and nothing happens. You just sit there for all eternity.
Hafrank: I’m pretty sure that’s heaven.
Nick: I haven’t braked in like twenty minutes.
Krista: It’s a good thing this limo has four-wheel drive or it’d get stuck in the carnage.
Hafrank: Let’s break out the champagne!
Nick: Are you sure that’s wise?
Hafrank: We can only drive better at this point.
Krista: What did I tell you? Families that drive together stay together!
Hafrank: I think we’ve stopped. Where are we Krista?
Krista: We’ve crashed the White House party. Quite literally.
Hafrank: Wow, look at that rose garden! It’s like a buffet!
Hafrank jumps out to chew on roses
Nick: I thought gnomes respected the sanctity of gardens.
Krista: Just their own; they’re competitive like that.
Barack Obama: Who are you?
Krista: Two humans and a gnome. We’re a, uh, group of strippers.
Barack Obama: All right, you’ll be on in five minutes then. Just remember, I like tassels.
Nick: The tabloids were true!
Barack Obama: Of course they are, you don’t think CNN has it right, do you?
Krista: Oh, Bama!
Barack Obama: Oh, Nick!
Hafrank: Oh, delicious garden, I have your powers now!
John Travolta: I had to take my plane all the way here, why didn’t anyone tell me they were leaving?
Krista: You were asleep in your cat box, and we didn’t want to wake you.
John Travolta: Well you should have. Everyone knows I play with yarn at 11 O’clock sharp, Monday through Thursday.
Hafrank: Here, have some Johnny-nip.
John Travolta: Goes down smooth... like a groove.
Krista: Johnny, stop singing the blues.
John Travolta: But I'm a successful actor you treat like a cat.
Krista: Good point.
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