Sunday, February 28, 2010

Across the Tide

Across the Tide
I tried
To glide
Across the tide.

I blew from side
To side.

Behind a cloud I tried to hide
To outsmart the divide.

No cover, did it at all provide
As now in water I reside.

To swim or sink I can’t decide
Nor in whom I can confide.

Shelter I have been denied
With fear and current I collide.

A lighthouse over yonder I have eyed
Between there and here it’s not so wide.

The keeper though might see I’ve cried
The lack of hop within my stride.

It's better to enjoy the ride.
Let the ocean be my bride.

Still, it's pitiful I'm stuck to pride
Perhaps I shan’t be when I’ve died.
I'm sorry Mali.

Medical Mysteries

This week on Medical Mysteries we examine House Minority Leader John Boehner.  Ordinary man, or man with a dark secret?  If you've failed to notice, he exhibits all the signs of acute carrotiatus.  Overtime he has become oranger and oranger, and increasingly root-like.  He finds it impossible to move from a fixed position, even for something he wants, say, for instance, fertilizer.  Although, some say he has produced his own manure for this of late.

The politician shows a love of dirt as well.  He has spent most of his adult life buried in it.  Mr. Boehner possesses an affinity for vegetables through this, sometimes even having sex with them.  His personal garden has been coined the 'love nest.'

Although, this Mr. Boehner appears to be a carrot through his nature and orange complexion, I would strongly urge you to not accept juice from him.  His carrot juice lacks the nutrients you would normally find.  In fact, you will turn into an onion, and he will have his way with you.  Layer by layer.

Thank you for tuning in.
I thought it was funny.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Feeling Down

I See the Rain
I see the rain
Trickling, trickling, trickling down.

I feel the cold
Slipping, slipping, slipping in.

I see the sun
Setting, setting, setting now.

I find the night
Seeping, seeping, seeping through.

I gaze at stars
Glowing, glowing, glowing faint.

I’m cold from wind
Blowing, blowing, blowing harsh.

I’m wet from tears
Drenching, drenching, face and shirt.

I see lightening
Striking, striking at my soul.

I fall asleep
Dreaming, dreaming, quite forlorn.
I wish she were here

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Poem I Thought of Driving

Driving by the lonely graves
Sorrow does envelope me.

I contemplate the circumstance
That brought untimely deaths.

Perhaps somehow, someway
I might have changed an outcome.

If I had said a word or two quite differently
They might have stayed at home that night.

If I had made some friendly gestures
There might be one less suicide.

But I know that it’s unwell to dwell
What matters are my choices now.

Grief won’t move or shake the past
We must build on its foundation.

Above, all we must laugh, not cry
And know that WE ARE LIFE.

However small and infinitesimal
Within the confines of the Universe
We must, smile, know that WE ARE LIFE.
Some of us are also idiots.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

My Regards to Maya Angelou

Now for a paraody of I Know why the Caged Bird Sings...
I Know Why the Twitter Bird Tweets
The free bird leaps
on Google’s back
and scrolls down page
till the browser ends
and dips his wings
in Facebook rays
and dares to claim the internet.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow page
can seldom see through
his lists of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his claws to tweet.

The Twitter bird tweets
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and his tweet are read
on the distant hill
for the Twitter bird
tweets of freedom

The free bird may watch tivo'd Glee
And order up some good Chinese
and laugh as Sue Sylvester drones
On and on of kids off tone.

But Twitter bird stands on the grave of tweets
Getting “trends” for Trick or Treat
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his claws to tweet.

The Twitter bird tweets
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tweet is heard
on the distant hill
for the Twitter bird
tweets of freedom.
Das ist alles nur geklaut.

Monday, February 22, 2010


Sitting solemnly to watch time tic
Fighting back the words that made me sick
Perhaps I was too thick
My thoughts too far from quick!
Over this mental anguish I would take a kick
A soaring, speeding, soothing brick
Unto my brain that’s not so slick!
The wax has melted off my candle wick
My heart’s a faint and dimming flick
And surely, it shan’t take another lick!

So greatly now I fear that I’ve run out of rhyme
And the demons will return, that rob men of their prime!

So badly do I need a drink of something stiff
To help make me forget, I’ve fallen off the cliff.

Cupid, if you’re there, now trade your arrow for machete
And release my neck from ghastly mortal agony!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

A Prologue

Legend tells of a book beyond any man has wrote; a book so great as to rival the Torah, the Qur’an, and the Holy Bible itself. In truth this is not even one compellation, but three. The Gods feared it so and split it, thus hiding its pieces far apart within the universe.

It was said an exceptional man may go many lifetimes before glimpsing one, and several more before laying hand on it. And even in immeasurable lifetimes it is hard to say if a man or women could hold a book within their hands.

What could be within these books, you may ask, for even the mightiest of Gods to fear? Everything. Everything that ever was, is, and shall be lies within these very books.

The Fates forged them in the beginnings of time, before the threads of life were spun. Clotho wrote the past, Lachesis the present and Atropos the future. In a sense, it was a universal thread of life. The book, originally one, had the power to undo all they would begin and end. It was a safety net, but a short lived one.

When Zeus had grown, taking Olympus and learning of the Fates, he feared them greatly, but saw his existence tied to the book. And its fate, the harbinger of all fate, was sealed.

No one, not even Zeus himself knew exactly where they ended up. His mind being tricked into its own demise he could not allow, as tempting and alluring as the power of ultimate knowledge may have been.

Once in a millennia, one still twinkles in the stars. A fool or two race after it, becoming lost forever in the heavens. Much like the books, they are never found.

In their celestial realm, neither here, nor there, the Fates are too busy cutting threads to bother making more. Zeus knew mortals and their flicking mortality would keep the Fates in check, and his self immortal. And he was right for many eons.

But forever is a farce and time will unravel the best laid plans.
Pope Pius was a bum.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Oh,That Romney!

This is a little segment on the Spice I like to call Oh, That Romney!

Republican Mitt Romney blistered President Barack Obama for a squandered first year of policy failures and broken promises on Thursday, informally auditioning before a key part of the GOP base for the chance to challenge the Democrat in 2012.

Criticizing him for failing at policies and promises you opposed? So you wanted him to succeed? You didn't? You're hysteric Mitt, get a grip! Oh, that Romney!

"President Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid and their team have failed the American people, and that is why their majority will be out the door"

Or maybe you've just ushered in the most intense age of partisanship the nation's seen in a hundred and fifty years? Or maybe the Republicans took a budget surplus and made it into a raging boner of a deficit, ready to take it to the next generation? At least the Dems spending actually created jobs and got us on a course where we could pay on our debt. Your party's too busy contradicting itself while simultaneously bitch slapping American prosperity with inaction and incompetence. Oh, that Romney!

"As a Massachusetts man, who, like my fellow Bay-staters, has over the years, been understandably regarded somewhat suspiciously in gatherings like this, let me take just a moment" to rejoice in a Scott Brown victory.

First of all, you're from Michigan. Second, you rejoice in crippling gridlock. I hope your kid steals your credit card and buys a yacht, and you can't call the bank to stop the Mercedes purchase because you've been tethered to your own pile of excrement. And the more you struggle, the more shit falls over you. That's an analogy for how great you've made America. Oh, that Romney!

"He [Obama] has prolonged the recession, expanded the pain of unemployment, and added to the burden of debt we will leave future generations," Romney said.

Romney having blasted Obama for prolonging the recession, while weeping inside that he never quite mastered mathematics. Oh, that Romney!

Romney argued that Obama broke his promises of transparency and a new kind of politics. And Romney charged Obama with "the most blatant and reprehensible manifestation of political payoff in modern memory"

In Romney's defense he has terrible ADD. He sees practically everything is on CSPAN but turns to Cartoon Network to root for the coyote. Oh, that Romney! P.S. He really thinks the Acme products will work everytime no matter how many times they seem to fail.

Pumping up the GOP, Romney said: "The people of America are looking to conservatives for leadership, and we must not fail them."

When pressed for the definition of leadership Romney said: defeating Obama and umm... tax cuts? Oh, that Romney!

He said conservatives would strengthen the economy, U.S. security, and the nation's families, though he acknowledged that not everything on the agenda is popular.

Economy- letting Wall-Street run wild until we bail them out again. Security- Four pronged strategy of torturing, killing, denying justice and vanquishing dissent. Families- the gays have got to go.. but not into the military. And as to what is not popular on the agenda... everything. Oh, that Romney!

Still, he said: "The American people have shown that they are ready for truth to trump hope. The truth is that government is not the solution to all our problems."

Or any, and that's Mitt Romney's promise to you, the voter. He will work his darndest to get nothing done, no matter how much we need it, or how agonizing things get. He's an idealist like that. Oh, that Romney!
If you're reading this, you are under my power. Go kick Romney in the nuts.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I Side with Love

I Side with Love
Give me your most wretched tyrant:
A man whom all would like to hang.

Tempt me with desire and revenge,
Reduce me to my raw emotions –

I side with love.

Use your religion to oppress,
Forgetting ‘all men are created equal.’

Tell me my morality is under siege,
I must fear my God above all else –

I side with love.

Make believe that war brings peace
When the truth says that it never has.

Label me a coward, traitor,
Abuse me till the day you die –

I side with love.

Time and fate will prove me right;
The heaven’s know –

I side with love.
Good poem, eh? Psh, everyone's a critic!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Distant Ponderings

Distant Ponderings
My once so gaseous Uranus mind
Became a lifeless sort of frozen orb.

Its rings still may spin but it is hollow
Too dim, too slow, not visible from earth.

A cueball like ice giant in the sky
Seen by lonely men through telescopes.

Their lenses show a deepening frost
A warmth that never was, shan’t ever be.

For even if the cold’s beyond their thoughts
Their imaginations can’t come close.

Magnification won’t show the past
The comets hitting at my heart and soul –

Bridges burned down with my various moons:
I miss you Puck, Miranda, Ariel!
Oberon, Titania and Umbriel!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Twic by Tweet

I've added a new organization for Twiction called Twic by Tweet.

It's a list of Twiction arranged solely by tweets, instead of the usual story form. On it you can find such gems as tonight's edition:

He broke free to grant her an obscene gesture, he she twisted back his finger. The magic held it for at least a mile down the road.

Friday, February 12, 2010


I saw the children finding cans for cash;
I saw empty cups long since discarded –
Wrappers, cigarettes and plastic jugs!

The ditches sang the songs of beggary
Grass chimed in with blues-like melody –
Hating, loathing human carelessness!

Trees tried valiantly to rise above it
But cried their somber leaves into the wind –
Drifting, floating, airborne melancholy!

Snow brought allusions of some purity
It could cover up yet never undo –
Decades, years, of woeful, raping refuse!

Old tires took their sordid bath in rain
A coupon felt embrace of sediment –
Sinking, dipping to the core and mantle!

A Mountain Dew from God knows when appeared
Resurrected for the coming rapture –
Clawing, crawling from its muddy gravesite!

Quite disenchanted with Mother Nature
I closed my eyes to take a thoughtful breath –
Sighing, coping, I took myself away!

In a minute I was brought right back
Passing truck monoxide overtook my lungs –
Wheezing, coughing, I fell unto weak knees!

I hit a bag of chips with great disgust
And went back to nap upon my bed –
Secure in dreams where life won't disappoint!

Saturday, February 06, 2010

Tea Party

Tea Party
In and out they try to weave
Sapping strength we can't relieve
Lambasting those who would achieve
Dismissing all solutions as naive.

An ignorance I can't percieve
A bitterness I can't conceive.

Their main objective to deceive
To leave the poor to die and grieve
The sick, the wounded badly heave
In a world of corporate make believe.

An ignorance I can't percieve
A bitterness I can't conceive.

Swords swapped in for Filibuster
Democracy has all but lost its luster;
We use what hope that we can muster
As the fog renews an age long fluster.

An ignorance I can't percieve
A bitterness I can't conceive.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010


Old Glory
Blueberry fields with
Stars above flanking
Stripes of candycane.


Eagle Claws
Eagle claws clasped tight
Around the constitution
Flying with it high.


Weepings from the Bill
of Rights so barely heard
Yet omnipresent.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

What the Hell are We Fighting For?

What the Hell are We Fighting For?
If we sacrifice our liberties
As the necessities of war,
What the hell are we fighting for?

If we ignore the constitution,
Act to circumvent free speech
What the hell are we fighting for?

If we say a group, it cannot join
The army to defend their home
What the hell are we fighting for?

If we use arms to enforce our hate
Above justice and equality
What the hell are we fighting for?

If we somehow think that our ideals
Are solely inherent to ourselves
What the hell are we fighting for?

If we believe within democracy
Yet, disband it when it's inconvenient
What the hell are we fighting for?

If we use freedom as a crutch
To make the rich, still only richer
What the hell are we fighting for?

If we become the ones we fight
Succumbing to emotions over higher principles-
What the hell are we fighting for?

I wish so dearly I could know
What the hell we're fighting for.

Perhaps I'll never know
What the hell we're fighting for.